How many times have you heard that? me i don't think i can count that high... while there has been times where i have simply opened mouth insert foot, i am learning to just stop think, and pray alot of the time before i speak... unless i am reacting.. then well its just fair game... but when we react does it ever do us any good when we speak out of anger?? honestly i don't think so.. i don't think that anyone walks away happy... i got to experience being on the receiving end of reactions.. and i still feel like a 10 ton truck ran over me and then backed up for another run... i felt as tho my feelings weren't valid... is that how i make people feel when i react? how do i make sure to not do that to some one? i know i can go 50 shades of crazy and i need to work on that try to get it down to at least 25.. but i cant believe how hurtful it was.. and honestly how do i move on from this point? do i ignore it and just go on as i planned or do i let the other person win and be defeated? i feel completely unwelcome in a place that honestly i should feel right at home... i am letting Satan win if i walk away right... or am i going against God's will if i stay.. this is where i am.. stuck between a rock and a hard place... i do know that moving forward i will be seeking guidance for myself only.. i can only pray for the other person.. that god will convict their heart and work on them... because i know that i cant change them.. i can change me... and this is what I'm doing
oh by the way.. I'm down about 6lbs after my scale saying i weighed 365 this morning!!! and no i have not made no bake cookies yet.. but the year is still young!
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
New years resloutions...
January 1st.. I am just like everyone else I make new years resolutions.. I want to lose weight this year.. i want to run in a 5k. I want to keep my house cleaner, I want to not yell at my kids (whoops already broke that one this morning).. and the list can go on and on... so what is so different this year how am i not gong to fail this year??
First lets back up ill tell you a little about myself.. first a disclosure.. I don't type very grammatically correct.. i don't use the right punctuation.. i usually don't capitalize my I's and love run on sentences.. But I'm not here to write a blog about how i type I'm a real mom wife, and person.. I'm not writing this for anyone but myself. I'm going to track my progress over this year, The ups and the downs.. if you want to join in the success and cry at the failures with me great to have you! if you cant stand my lazy typing.. you'd probably stop reading right now.. OK, now that that is out of the way a little about me.. I'm 24 have 2 girls Ceinya is 5, and Kadynce is 3. I have been married for 4 almost 5 years (the 6th of Jan!) to my best friend!! I grew up on a ranch only child with my mom and dad (step that adopted me.. my bio dad will be included at some point) only niece and only granddaughter.. i was SPOILED! I showed cattle, which taught me more than i would have ever imagined and i still think that the best place in the world is on the back of a horse. got married moved to town, moved the ranch and then into town again only a smaller town this time.. my heart is and always be at the ranch but for my kids myself and my marriage moving to town was the best thing we could have done.
i was saved at the age of 12 and baptized. had a lot happen to me that made me so angry with god! and until i was 19 i harbored some terrible anger.. when My husband and i got together i started going to a wonderful church that still today i call home. i have grown so much in my walk with god these past 5 almost 6 years now.. i got involved with a moms bible study last year and that was my saving grace. i felt so alone and so lost... now i am the coordinator and while it has stretched me and grown me more in a few months than i ever thought possible i am so thankful for each of the ladies in it.
i have always struggled with my weight.. i love food! i love food when I'm stressed, or happy, or sad.. i just love food! i love baked potatoes loaded to the hilt! and no bake cookies!! i don't have any desire to be a size 4 or eve a size 8... a 14 would even make me happy.. i just want to be healthy i want to be able to run around with my kids and not be just exhausted after ten minutes.. but mostly i want to put clothes on and see the person i love in pictures.. seems like the refection in the mirror and the person in the picture are never the same.. by golly tho they will be this year.. i could stay the size i am if i could look and feel the same..
this brings me back to my title.. I'm not making any resolutions. i am making goals.. for both the inside and out.. i am going to dedicate time to being in God's word with my kids, and with my husband.. and alone.. I'm going to eat better.. not for anyone but me.. i want to love my body and my inside.. I'm not being the best me.. I'm just being.. my hubby and i plan on getting out of debt the rest of the way this year.. talk about a slow process!! and buying a house... and possibly one more big surprise... but that shall come late this year..
I'm going to use this as a sounding block. when I'm craving those no bake cookies you will find me here.. putting all those cravings for those super yummy straight to my gut cookies into writing...
well my children want their art easel out so i suppose i should sign off here and get back to my job... being a mom!
ps.. i spell checked most of the words
oh i suppose i should post my starting weight and measurements... this is the most depressing.. but i need to be realistic with myself
chest-50
waist-51
hips-50
arm-16
thighs-27
weight 265.4
First lets back up ill tell you a little about myself.. first a disclosure.. I don't type very grammatically correct.. i don't use the right punctuation.. i usually don't capitalize my I's and love run on sentences.. But I'm not here to write a blog about how i type I'm a real mom wife, and person.. I'm not writing this for anyone but myself. I'm going to track my progress over this year, The ups and the downs.. if you want to join in the success and cry at the failures with me great to have you! if you cant stand my lazy typing.. you'd probably stop reading right now.. OK, now that that is out of the way a little about me.. I'm 24 have 2 girls Ceinya is 5, and Kadynce is 3. I have been married for 4 almost 5 years (the 6th of Jan!) to my best friend!! I grew up on a ranch only child with my mom and dad (step that adopted me.. my bio dad will be included at some point) only niece and only granddaughter.. i was SPOILED! I showed cattle, which taught me more than i would have ever imagined and i still think that the best place in the world is on the back of a horse. got married moved to town, moved the ranch and then into town again only a smaller town this time.. my heart is and always be at the ranch but for my kids myself and my marriage moving to town was the best thing we could have done.
i was saved at the age of 12 and baptized. had a lot happen to me that made me so angry with god! and until i was 19 i harbored some terrible anger.. when My husband and i got together i started going to a wonderful church that still today i call home. i have grown so much in my walk with god these past 5 almost 6 years now.. i got involved with a moms bible study last year and that was my saving grace. i felt so alone and so lost... now i am the coordinator and while it has stretched me and grown me more in a few months than i ever thought possible i am so thankful for each of the ladies in it.
i have always struggled with my weight.. i love food! i love food when I'm stressed, or happy, or sad.. i just love food! i love baked potatoes loaded to the hilt! and no bake cookies!! i don't have any desire to be a size 4 or eve a size 8... a 14 would even make me happy.. i just want to be healthy i want to be able to run around with my kids and not be just exhausted after ten minutes.. but mostly i want to put clothes on and see the person i love in pictures.. seems like the refection in the mirror and the person in the picture are never the same.. by golly tho they will be this year.. i could stay the size i am if i could look and feel the same..
this brings me back to my title.. I'm not making any resolutions. i am making goals.. for both the inside and out.. i am going to dedicate time to being in God's word with my kids, and with my husband.. and alone.. I'm going to eat better.. not for anyone but me.. i want to love my body and my inside.. I'm not being the best me.. I'm just being.. my hubby and i plan on getting out of debt the rest of the way this year.. talk about a slow process!! and buying a house... and possibly one more big surprise... but that shall come late this year..
I'm going to use this as a sounding block. when I'm craving those no bake cookies you will find me here.. putting all those cravings for those super yummy straight to my gut cookies into writing...
well my children want their art easel out so i suppose i should sign off here and get back to my job... being a mom!
ps.. i spell checked most of the words
oh i suppose i should post my starting weight and measurements... this is the most depressing.. but i need to be realistic with myself
chest-50
waist-51
hips-50
arm-16
thighs-27
weight 265.4
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